Apelidos
Se Adriana, Silvana, Débora e Luciana vão almoçar juntas, elas chamarão umas às outras de Dri, Sil, Dé e Lu.
Se Leandro, Carlos, Roberto e João saem juntos, eles afetuosamente se referirão uns aos outros como Gordo, Cabeção, Rato e Negão.
Comendo fora
Quando a conta chega, Paulo, Carlos, Roberto e João jogam na mesa R$ 20,00 cada um, mesmo sendo a conta apenas R$ 32,50. Nenhum deles terá trocado e nenhum vai ao menos admitir que queira troco logo o troco será convertido em saideiras.
Quando as garotas recebem sua conta, aparecem calculadoras de bolso e todas procuram pelas moedinhas exatas dentro da bolsa.
Dinheiro
Um homem pagará R$ 2,00 por um item que vale R$ 1,00, mas que ele precisa.
Uma mulher pagará R$ 1,00 por um item que vale R$ 2,00, mas que ela não precisa.
Banheiros
Um homem tem seis itens em seu banheiro: escova de dente, pente, espuma de barbear, barbeador, sabonete e uma toalha de rosto.
A quantidade média de itens em um banheiro feminino é de 756. E um homem não consegue identificar a maioria deles.
Discussões
Uma mulher tem a última palavra em qualquer discussão.
Por definição, qualquer coisa que um homem disser depois disso, já é o começo de uma outra discussão.
Futuro
Uma mulher se preocupa com o futuro até conseguir um marido.
Um homem nunca se preocupa com o futuro até que consiga uma esposa.
Mudanças
Uma mulher casa-se com um homem esperando que ele mude, mas ele não muda.
Um homem casa-se com uma mulher esperando que ela não mude, mas ela muda.
Dividindo
Uma mulher dividirá seus pensamentos e sentimentos mais profundos com um completo estranho que lhe dê atenção.
Um homem só dividirá seus pensamentos e sentimentos mais profundos quando questionado por um advogado artimanhoso, sob juramento, e mesmo assim, apenas quando isso puder diminuir a sua pena.
Amizade sincera
A mulher encontra com outra na rua: “Nossa, como você ta linda!”. Quando viram as costas vem o comentário: “Nossa, como ela engordou!”.
Um homem encontra com outro na rua: “Fala seu gordo-careca-bichona!”. Quando viram as costas vem o comentário: “Esse cara é gente fina!”.
Categorias: Entretenimento


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